In this weeks Parasha, more than once, Bil’am attempts to curse the Jewish nation. Each time, he’s thwarted by his own mouth, as the attempted curses turn to praises and blessings. The most well known are the statement of “Ma Tobu Ohalecha Yaakob Mishkenotecha Yisrael.” “How goodly are your tents, Jacob, your dwelling places, Israel.” Rashi, citing the midrash gives us insight into what Bil’am witnessed that led him to utter such praise.

‘He saw that the opening of their tents weren’t facing each other.’ Amazing! The privacy by which the Jewish people led their lives was unheard of. Bil’am was proclaiming that the success of the Jewish family was due to their ability to focus on their own lives rather than on each others.

At a wedding, we sing these words of Bil’am as a reminder to the Hattan and Kalla of this most essential idea.  We also bless the Hattan and Kalla that their happiness should be akin to that of Adam and Havva. Perhaps the message there too is; that just as Adam and Havva only had each other and there was no one else on earth to look at or compare themselves to, so should be the approach of this newlywed couple.

Today, it certainly seems more difficult to follow this path. Perhaps that’s why we see the breakdown of more and more families. We must remind ourselves and our families on a more constant basis this secret to our families’ success.

 

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Saul J. Kassin