The fast of the 17th of Tamuz, observed this Sunday, starts the three weeks, a preparation period for Tisha B’Av. To better understand this period of time, we need to compare its laws to the laws of a typical Jewish mourning period. When a Jewish man or woman passes away, their closest relatives undergo a period of mourning that can be divided into four stages.

The Aninut period lasts from the time of death to burial. Immediate relatives are exempt from all action based Misvot. The second period, Shiva, takes place over seven days after the death, in which mourners remain at home and refrain from showering and engaging other worldly pleasures (including the study of Torah). The Sheloshim period spans the first 30 days after death, during which a mourner is not allowed to shave or get a haircut, nor can they attend a Seudat Misva. And finally, the last stage of avelut, Shana, requires the deceased’s child to recite Kaddish and refrain from attending parties and celebrations for a full 12 months.

During this time of year, we as a nation are considered mourners as well. We mourn the loss of our Bet HaMikdash, which was destroyed 1,946 years ago. However, the Avelut that we observe as a remembrance for the Bet HaMikdash is a bit different than the mourning experienced for a deceased relative (as explained above). In the summer months, we begin mourning our lost Temple with the Three Weeks, in which we take upon some smaller prohibitions to limit pleasure, such as listening to music and attending parties. After that, we enter the phase of the Nine Days, limiting ourselves further by prohibiting the consumption of meat and wine. Lastly, we observe Shavua SheHal Bo, the week of Tisha B’Av, when we refrain from taking hot showers and wearing freshly laundered clothing.

With the death of a loved one, the Avelut process starts off right away by placing many prohibitions on the mourner, slowly lessening as time goes by. However, during the three weeks, Avelut prohibitions progress differently, starting out lightly, and intensifying as time progresses.

Rabbi Yosef Soloveitchik provides us with a fascinating explanation as to why this is so. With the Avelut we experience after the death of a relative, the pain we feel is natural. Grief occurs automatically, and the process of Avelut is thus made to help wean the mourner, very slowly, back into a natural state in which he can possibly overcome the death of his relative. The mourner begins in a full state of mourning, and he is then slowly eased back into regular daily life.

On the other hand, with the Avelut of Tisha B’Av, mourning is not something that is natural. Unfortunately, because of the 1900 year exile we are in, we are quite disconnected from the Bet HaMikdash and Yerushalayim. We are comfortable in the Galut and do not really feel the extent of our loss. The fact that the three weeks fall in the summertime make it even tougher for us to disconnect from the relaxed atmosphere around us and mourn the loss of something that we have never personally known.

Therefore, Hazal needed to start the Avelut process 3 weeks prior to Tisha Bav. They felt that a quasi-status of mourning would be beneficial to us, in order to gradually get us in the spirit of the day. They hoped that by the time Tisha B’Av comes, we will be in the proper state of mind. This is called Avelut Yeshana (Avelut over something old).

During these 3 weeks, we should all try to use the prohibitions that we encounter as triggers to get into the proper mode for Tisha B’Av. While some of the rituals that we take upon ourselves might be burdensome and tough to follow, their proper observance will assist us in having a genuine Tisha B’Av experience. With that proper frame of mind, we should hope and pray for the coming of Mashiah and the rebuilding of the Bet HaMikdash. As the Gemara in Taanit (30b) states “Whoever mourns for Jerusalem will merit to see it rejoicing.”

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Joseph Dana